As you know from last month's blog, I'd been inspired. But now it was time to put my self-motivated production to the test.

What exactly can shootng D.I.Y DSLR achieve? What’s possible & what’s not? For music videos it's unstoppable, Dexter loves Nikon, and no one should be seen at fashionable telecines without the latest cinestyle curve. But what about shooting food and children with a crew of 4, can it be done?

If rigid is part of your CV, D.I.Y is not for you. Adaptability and improvisation are the names of the fast and furious DSLR game. That and a few experienced director tricks kept firmly up your sleeve. Tricks I needed when I placed five eight year olds in the centre of the Brighton Food Festival.

From the off B.F.F was filled with intense “foodies” determined nothing was going to get in the way of their wheat-free-organic-brownie. As the hordes bore down on my little set I was reminded of the scene in Braveheart where the heavy horses charge the line. Only in my version there were no hidden spears just doe-eyed kids with potted plants for protection. I needed to improvise, fast.

I could praise myself, and I am good at directing children, but as everyone knows directing children isn’t about directing, it’s about the children you cast and my fabulous little team from Britain’s only Buddhist school were as calm as Shaolin Monks. That and the trick I’d been keeping up my sleeve. As William Wallace knew, when you’re faced with the heavy horses, it’s always good to have a giant inflatable slide in your back pocket. In danger of loosing one of my little heroes to boredom I pointed towards the giant orange inflatable and said. “see that, that’s what we’re doing next”. Scene complete

On day 2 at least we were inside. Fish was fried as puddings were cooked and DVD’s featuring gnomes rang out from the living room holding bay. Was it looking good? Yes, but don’t ask me again as I have to change the toilet roll in the upstairs bathroom and replenish the snacks. No one should attempt to shoot tabletop and children in one day without a studio, a large crew, and a quite monitor away from it all. But we pulled it off and I have to say, I loved it. Here’s what I learned:

• No matter what you shoot you need lights, and some serious resources, which we didn’t have, unless you use a DSLR expert - thanks to Heather Wilkinson. + Liam White

• The 5D is a brilliant machine, as long as your subject doesn’t move - children - + you don’t want to pull focus - children! Next time I'd like to test the C300. or the Blackmagic

• The Sony FS700 is a very interesting low-fi alternative for hi-speed. We didn’t really use it to its full ability. Transcoding isn't easy - big thanks to Felix - 1st time users beware. And you'll defininetly need a good grade - thanks to Pav, Lee, Chris and all at Locomotion

• People will out. Filmmaking is all about the crew. Without them you’re lost, no matter what the French would say about the word auteur. Top work Matthew at Loaded Dice

So would I do it again? Hell yeah. Do I think we pulled it off? You tell me, this one really needs all of you out there to give me some feedback. So please send your likes or dislikes to the usual sources. See you all next month for a new Alpen film from my friends at Ogilvy and of course Cannes. I’m off to scrub the kitchen floor, again.

It’s all Dave Grohl’s fault.

I’m not in the habit of blaming rock stars, but Dr G’s recent SXSW keynote following the premier of his movie Sound City really inspired me. It inspired me to go back to basics, shoot something for fun, and respect the Gods of the table top arena.

Ok, it wasn’t just the legendary lead singer that got me started. I’d recently been talking to photographer Heather Wilkinson about combining food photography with Gusto’s tabletop offer, when Nicole Szabason called to discuss an upcoming pizza project, something clicked. When the Pizza job “went away” I was left with Dr G’s inspiration ringing in my ears, and I knew we had to “just shoot it”. In fact…

I’d been thinking about testing out digital’s Holy Grail for some time. Fascinated whether, as all DSLR enthusiasts would have you believe, you can shoot anything anywhere anyhow. So I Googled Philip Bloom, rejoiced in my film school past, and decided to rock out. I mean, how hard could it be?

Lesson no 1: Digital is the new Prince but production is King.

As experienced producers will tell you, there just aren’t enough hours in the day. And when you’re producing yourself, there aren’t enough minutes in the hour. Then there’s the schizophrenic relationship between your bank balance and your needs as a director. Believe me, when the shekels are on the line you’ll soon discover the wonders of natural bounce, LED panels and the power of family and friends.

Oh, and I forgot to say, my simple no-budget idea was to shoot children at a packed food festival, who then come home and make amazing dishes. As Robert Evans once said to Bob Townsend, run that by me again…

Lesson no 2: Never work with children, shoot in your own home and underestimate root vegetables.

As any of you who work in the tabletop arena know, there’s a big difference between cooking food that’s good to eat and cooking food that’s good not to eat. Take the simple boiled egg.

In an attempt to prepare for the hideous schedule of cooking, shooting and lighting eight separate dishes plus children in one day I thought it wise to rehearse in advantage to help Nicole with the already packed schedule. I enlisted the help of my sister in law and rapidly discovered that my sister’s point of view on the perfect yoke was more Fanny Craddock than Heston Blumenthal. Following hours of arguments, trial and error and a floor awash with yoke we produced a perfectly boiled egg. Maybe pimpin up an egg wasn’t so hard after all.

Lesson no 3: Don’t count your chickens…

As the hour of the yoke approached we proudly presented our egg to the great N.S. Ever the politician she smiled politely and proceeded to spend the next 2 hours pimping up 10 new perfectly boiled specimens that made our ovals look like something the hen had dragged in. Clearly not all yokes are born equal.

But our chocolate puddings were pure gold, unlike my rhubarb. Let me tell you, rhubarb is a bitch. It’s the Lady Macbeth of vegetables. To get that little beauty perfectly rosed into a mouth-watering pallor is a dark art unknown to mere mortals. Nicole, again we salute you, but for me it will always be the one that got away.

2am, the night before the shoot. As I scrubbed the kitchen floor within an inch of its life, knowing that within eight hours five seven year olds would bring it back to a Groundhog Day style cocoa disaster, I was starting to curse the day I pushed play on Dr G’s wise words.

Next month, for better or worse, I’ll show you the result, but in the meantime I have to give a big thanks to the micro-team whose ability shows that it doesn’t matter what you do, talent will out. Heather Wilkinson (check out her fabulous food blog and photography), Liam White, Jo Stobbs; the brilliant children of the Dharma School, and of course food styling’s own rock n’ roll messiah.

Dave Grohl, we salute you!

So, after months of brainstorming, pitching, storyboarding, conference calling, more pitching, testing, rewriting, filming and editing; your commercial is finally complete. Phew!

With its gorgeous cinematography and well-cast characters it looks and sounds amazing. Success. But aside from a quick run on terrestrial, or digital highway, the most you’ll ever do after its aired is pin it to Facebook and count the comments.

Still a success?

For some, yes – I love the recent campaign for Three but aside from a web-based app hosted on YouTube where’s the longevity? You wouldn't get Mr Bruckheimer working like that. Hell, he’d have signed up the region’s entire livestock for sequels, prequels and TV spin offs. Dick King Smith, eat your heart out.

As a filmmaker I can’t help thinking of all those golden assets just left in the media vault waiting to be developed. Shame, as they could easily be extended into online videos for brands, their websites and a whole lot more.

Of course, some are already at it. There’s this audacious offering from River Island but more to my liking this hysterical offering from K-Swiss which enlisted Danny McBride or ‘Kenny Powers’ from Eastbound & Down in which Kenny becomes the company’s CEO. Then there’s the Fosters series that enlisted Alan Partridge and his mid-morning matters.

Both went further than they could on TV. Both were huge hits online with fans. However, the key word here is “enlisted”. K-Swiss and Fosters tapped into the credibility of existing comedic characters. I’m talking about developing original creations. And in 2012 no one went higher than Felix OMG!

Of course not everyone can afford a mission into space but online doesn't have to be expensive if you have creativity and one of those “little golden assets”. A simple series of online brand extensions can work a treat, adding depth to any TV offering.

You get the sense that BT is flirting with the idea of a brand drama. Their original ‘BT family’ ran for 40 commercials and culminated in a wedding. The public were invited to choose the dress, the music and the car. 1.6 million had their say. This shows that people are willing to connect with characters – as long as they feel real. In fact, I think BT missed a trick in not going all the way. Perhaps they will with the second generation now on our screens.

I also recently spotted this commercial for Lurpak - nice tag line, “a little piece of heaven”. Now if that isn't a golden asset I don’t know what is.

Pass the dynamite Charlie Crocker, I’m going in…